Doreen Rainey

• "Yes, I'd love to get your feedback on my project."
• "Of course I want to know what my team thinks of my management style."
• "I can't wait to read the evaluations from my presentation."
• "Did my work meet your expectations?"

• "Do you think I should buy this?"
• "How do I look in this dress?"
• "Do you think my boyfriend (or girlfriend) is lying to me?

But most times - people really aren't looking for real, constructive, targeted feedback that they can use to improve.  They want a pat on the back - to be appeased.  But that doesn't help you.

Many times, when we hear what we perceive to be negative feedback, we immediately begin to defend ourselves, argue with the person, or flat out disagree and walk away.  But if you want to grow, develop, and improve your life, you have to be willing to consider what others say about you. 

One of the best ways to receive feedback?  I call it the LSN Method:  

Listen. Smile. Nod.

That's it.  Keep your mouth shut!  I know...I know...not only do you want to speak, but you probably want to do it while they are still talking!  But remember, if you asked for it, you should be willing to hear them out.

And when the person has finished, the only response you give is "Thank You." Why?  Because you need time to evaluate the validity of what was said.  You can't do that if you immediately begin arguing or defending yourself.

Instead, take some time - an hour, a day, a month, or more - to truly consider whether the information has some validity, therefore, prompting changes in the way you conduct yourself. Only after this level of careful scrutiny of the feedback will you be in a position to accept it or reject it. 

This is how real professional and personal growth happens.